pjs and sweatpants

confession: i have spent the last 3 days in sweatpants/pj's. as i'm typing right now i am sitting in my pj's. why? because of my sick baby boy, caleb. poor kid. this is the first time he has EVER been sick and it's so sad. he came down with a fever on monday and has been sick and fussy ever since. it's seriously heart breaking. we've had some seriously rough nights. but the sweet thing is how badly he needs me. caleb hasn't been able to fall asleep in my arms for quite a few months. but now...that's the only place he wants to sleep. and he needs his momma. no love from grammy or even daddy can make him feel better. i love that he needs me like that.

in the past 3 days i have spent a lot of time here:

here i am, passed out, exhaustedly asleep in this chair. i think this picture was taken on the morning after 2 nights in a row of rocking caleb for 2+ hours in that chair. this isn't the most flattering picture, but i love the story it tells. i hope to remember this moment when he's a whiny two year old or a rebellious teenager. i want to tell him one day, when he thinks i'm too old to understand him, just how much i loved and cared for him as a baby. to tell him that when he was sick i would sacrifice my much needed sleep and my warm comfy bed and just hold him and rock him and sing to him for hours. and how he would fall asleep in my arms and to the sound of my voice. i love this boy so much. i'm so sad he gets sick. sweet c-man, i hope (and my much neglected bed) hope you're better tomorrow.